EVIL GAY NONSENSE

TLDR: discord status archive.
hello everypony. for the past several years, i have been wasting horrendous amounts of mythical comedic material on the chuds who i have added on discord (via my status). however, everyone on there is ungrateful and stupid, so i am going to share my shitposting here instead.

8/31/26

just acquired a legendary roblox username. everyone, say hello to "assbarfbarfassbarf67"

8/31/26

foolproof life hack to never get any voicemails: make your voice message three minutes of among us drip song (i set it to that four years ago idk how to fix it)

8/30/26

i have decided to attempt building a working vulcan lyre

this is actually not a joke whatsoever, i am planning to purchase materials for it once i move yayyyy

8/30/26

i cant pee all that comes out is blood should i go to urgent care: THE SEQUEL

i am fine now guys!!!!

8/24/26

making absolute bank on this furry art shit

8/21/26

do you guys think that if i order enough dead beetles, someone will eventually end up sending me a live one on accident and then i get a pet beetle?

8/20/26

homosexuality is the key to understanding the great gatsby

i have read gatsby at least 10 times, at most 25 times. i lost count

8/8/26

who the actual fuck is "hot fred"

7/13/26

rip my joe hawley youtooz that was tied to the ceiling fan for a year i could have made some insane cash on that dusty fucker

7/10/26

"does ed stand for erectile dysfunction?" -kevin barnes, in response to someone venting about their eating disorder in the of montreal discord server

7/10/26

uti? drink 100 ounces of water. banana allergy? drink 100 ounces of water. autism? drink 100 ounces of water. uti again? drink 100 ounces of water.

7/9/26

i will make an onlyfans if latvia wins the world cup

7/8/26

she f(x)=a(b)^x on my exponential growth til i function

7/7/26

the words "cameron winter bojangle".... they haunt me....

7/2/26

shoutout to the chinese for making me my bomb ass wheelchair and shoutout abuela for giving me the euros to buy it. america

6/12/26

new olivia rodrigo album is basically twin fantasy for straight girls

5/22/26

she beach on my boys til i OH MY GOD HE MARRIED HIS COUSIN??????

5/21/26

why is discord shop obsessed with star wars where is my star trek mcspirk gay sex yaoi profile effect

4/29/26

i love breakcore albums with classical elements where all the track titles are in hungarian and the whole thing is about a pigeon

4/17/26

gatsby just told me that i "would be good at gay sex" and i should "give it a try sometime" (tomodachi life)

3/31/26

my favorite thing in the whole world is when i kill someone over and over again in splatoon and they disconnect in rage

3/18/26

i am going to do an orthodontist murder suicide. watch out orthodontists

2/28/26

should i buy a lute

2/25/26

particle physicists always be naming their particles some weird ass shit like Strange Quark

2/12/26

time to write an essay on the homoerotic tension between suction cup man and guy business!

2/6/26

whips out my trusty Giant 200dB 10Hz Infrasound Generator (you are going to die)

1/28/26

my most original experience was probably pitching star trek fanfiction ideas to my therapist

1/25/26

"Purple Isn’t Real, Science Says. Your Brain Is Just Making It Up." hello did my mom write this??? mother is that you????????

1/24/26

"Robot dog with Elon Musk’s head poops out AI generated art"

1/24/26

javascript errors are so exaggerated. "UNRECOVERABLE syntax error." like okay drama queen

1/19/26

"the text that lorem ipsum comes from is actually really thought-provoking and interesting, i should write an essay on it," i say as i realize i am a huge fucking nerd

1/14/26

"youre a boy how do you sing so high" heh... a magician (transgender) never reveals his secrets (lack of testosterone)

12/30/25

one time in a mental hospital they had us make shrinky dink keychains and i made one of the communism symbol

12/28/25

once when i was like 10 i was live streaming among us on youtube and i accidentally showed all the viewers my home address

12/23/25

even the germans can tell that spock is gay as fuck

12/23/25

me when a piece of media was so significant in my life that i changed my pronouns

12/21/25

me when im trying to tell a funny joke but i stutter really bad so it instantly becomes unfunny

12/19/25

call me a commie all you want yall are just jealous of my fat ass